Whole 30 Day 1.

Y’all. I already wish it were day 30. It could be the caffeine withdrawal headache talking (I don’t do coffee- it’s the mountain dew), but let’s start at the beginning…which was like, yesterday.

So first off I’m just writing about this because I’m a normal person who cooks normal meals for her family. I’d say I have a pretty average set of cooking skills and I’m not a crazy foodie or anything. And I also want to see how easy or difficult this is to do with minimal prep work and using the simplest of recipes. Because honestly, everyone says “Oh you need inspiration? Go check the whole30 Instagram!” and all I find are things like braised duck or bison tenders and I’m like what even?? Where are the normal foods for people who don’t have 47 natural food stores to shop from?

Also, if you google “preparing for whole30” you’ll be led to believe that you need to replace every pot and pan in your kitchen right after you travel to the Himalayas to mine your own salt. No, people. No. I’m doing this without buying a cast iron skillet, and I’m not getting my knives sharpened, and I’m not hunting any bison.

Third thing. I’m not that picky anymore, but I’m also not an adventurous eater. One time I worked up the courage to take a bite of salmon and kind of gagged when I brought it to my lips. Couldn’t do it. I’m also not even sure I know what a summer squash looks like (little fyi- I almost just called it a spaghetti squash because I couldn’t even remember what the actual name of the vegetable was). So, this might be the most boring whole 30 of all time, or I might try scrambled eggs on day 17, I don’t even know.

Okay so here’s how my Day 1 went. I cooked a ton of bacon a couple days ago. –> hold on. I need to stop here and say that probably the only prep work you NEED to do is find compliant bacon pronto. Otherwise, we’re winging this thing. <– So that was breakfast, along with unsweetened applesauce. In a perfect world I would have had some other fruit out of the fridge or eaten an actual apple but I knew it was compliant and we were in a rush to run some errands and get to the circus (yes, roll your eyes with me, people). Fast forward to 12:30, we’re home and the kids went down for a nap. I needed a quick snack before I gnawed my arm off, so I had more bacon. And a little more applesauce. And then it dawned on me that as of 2pm on day 1 I’d basically only eaten 6 or 7 slices of bacon…#NAILINGIT.

I’ve attempted a whole30 before (lasted a whole12- I don’t recommend starting one at 4 weeks pregnant), so I had a couple recipes saved on Pinterest, and also scoured a thread on Jen Hatmaker’s page to find out what the real people eat. With a short list, I went to the grocery store for a few items – sugar free broth (because we are normal people and we are not making our own bone broth), some spices I didn’t have, Pink Himalayan Salt (for the love), some herbs and lemon for a whole chicken in a crockpot (and then I forgot to buy the whole chicken), and a pork roast. And a couple veggies. And some Annie’s mac and cheese for the kids. And a rotisserie chicken that I thought was compliant but isn’t.

Since my dream of returning home from the store and scarfing down rotisserie chicken was dashed, around 3:30 I finally made these chicken tenders and they are delicious. Sidebar: coconut and almond flour were already in my pantry from a few weeks ago when I was going to try a whole30 again and then didn’t. So in this instance I was ultra prepared.

Anyway, that’s basically it. I don’t know how long I’ll survive but I basically have to tell everybody I know that I’m doing this or I won’t. I have to go find more food now.

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