Whole 30- Home Stretch!

This is dayyyy….somewhere in the 20’s. 24 I think. This coming Sunday is FINALLY the last day. According to “The Timeline” days 16 through whatever are the days you’re supposed to feel “tiger blood.” I don’t really notice feeling any different other than maybe more energy, but it’s hard to gauge since the amount of sleep I get varies so much. Day 21 is supposed to be the day you feel like “I am SO over this.” Now that’s a day I can relate to, I would say its more like days 4-30 however. 6 more days to go…

Subject change! I was planning to share a little “recipe round-up” of my go-to’s, but I decided to focus today one on of my favorites. It was introduced to me by the same friend who loaned me a cook book, found coconut aminos for me, and made a ton of beef jerky for me. After you read the following observations, return to this paragraph and note that this friend made this for a group of TWELVE. The first time I made it was for a crowd of ONE, and I would rather have gnawed my own arm off if not for the fact that I’ll need it to shovel all the gluten in my mouth in a few days.

Okay so what is this recipe? Paleo Chinese Sesame Chicken. I am fairly certain that I could have written this recipe in about 12 less steps, but once you figure them all out, it’s freaking delicious. Here are my recipe notes:

  1. Prep time: The recipe says 15 minutes. This is a joke. It *might* only take 15 minutes if you are Michelle Tam (an expert paleo chef), but if you are an average person who has kids or pets, you need to add about 6 hours to the prep time. I mean seriously, I just made this for the 3rd time and it still took me an hour.
  2. Preparing the sauce: “Add 8 pitted dates to a sauce pan with half a cup of water and cook over medium heat until they are soft. Peel and discard skin.” STOP. Stop right there. It’s important to note here that dates are basically just so gross. They look like something an animal digested and left as a gift in the forest. However, they are pretty much the only thing you can use to sweeten dishes or condiments, so you tolerate them. Now, “peel and discard the skin”. This, THIS, is the step that will have you re-evaluating all of your life choices. I guess I’d classify it as a necessary step, but to just throw it casually in the “prepare the sauce” step? This is 100% a task all of its own and you will hate it. It just might be the most bizarre thing I’ve ever done.
  3. So many steps…just put all the sauce ingredients in a ninja blender thing and let her fly. When you’re ready to get the sauce to simmering, add the rest of the water and you’re done.
  4. Cooking the chicken: When a recipe says “don’t overcrowd the frying pan, cook chicken in small batches”; you say “challenge accepted.” My recommendation? You cook those suckers in one batch or you get a bigger frying pan. Your prep time ate up all your cook time so its this or eat it raw.
  5. Eat it all. You can try to save some for leftovers but you won’t be able to. I wouldn’t share a recipe that isn’t good enough to eat when you’re NOT doing a whole 30, and it’s so good with real actual rice. (whole 30 hasn’t made me like or want to try cauliflower yet, for the record.)

6 more days to sweet sweet freedom.

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